Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Back...

Truly, I don’t know why I should be back here. I have no time to blog. I don’t even have net connection these days. So, I shall give no excuse, except that I “felt” like it…. which is a rather poor excuse, but the truth, nevertheless.

How fast the days have flown by…it’s October already. One more year gone. Isn’t it funny how all these slow days can actually amount to years, decades, centuries??? And then, when you’ve been chafing all the while at the monotony and routine, one fine day, you wake up to find that a year has flown by…and then, suddenly you are 30.

Alright, I know 30 isn’t the end of life…. and I know I still have 6 more years to go…but heck, I know I’ll be 30 tomorrow…and…. oh never mind. Actually, I am not scared of death. What I dislike is growing old and staying more and more on the edge…because the world belongs to the younger generations.

The other day, I saw an old couple walk by from my veranda…they were just silently shuffling along and something in my throat just caught and I couldn’t breathe. Everybody was on their way to work and rushing along and these people were just quietly walking on…undisturbed by the flurry of the world.

Is it a good thing to leave the busy world and find security in your little life…? Maybe, if one did that out of one’s own choice, it might be a good thing…but how does it feel like to want to be included and yet know, that you really can’t cos you’re outdated…? How does that feel??

I think that’s a sickening feeling…not being needed. NOT having anybody doesn’t hurt quite so much as not being needed by anybody. If you don’t have anybody, you’re just lonely…. but when you know that nobody needs you…that’s really being miserable…

What if you know that your ‘use’ is over and that nobody really needs you? And the minute I typed that something just came to my mind…. J

“Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs, I will carry you.” (Isaiah 46:4)

Even when I am old and decrepit and broken-toothed, I’ll still be His ‘baby’! :)