Peering in, you tear the web apart
With bare hands.
Creeping crawling, you stare
At the horde I’ve laid aside.
Take your face off mine .
You are better off on the outside.
Winters come, winters go,
And the days, they gather slow .
A little warmth would be so nice;
But the hearth is smashed and the fire has died.
With bare hands.
Creeping crawling, you stare
At the horde I’ve laid aside.
Take your face off mine .
You are better off on the outside.
Winters come, winters go,
And the days, they gather slow .
A little warmth would be so nice;
But the hearth is smashed and the fire has died.
posted by Rapunzel at 4:25 pm
36 Comments:
I guess "The Edward Hyde Show" runs in parallel here.
salute...
austere
wow!this is beyond brilliant!
lovely! check out my blog if u can:)-blatantblabber happy writin!
'And when all the wars are done, a butterfly will still be beautiful.'......Smile,for there shall be a new beginning.
"tear-"
"Creeping crawling"
"... horde
I..."
The last two stanzas are very nice. I love how the words are put together, each line. ey hurt; each word.
I cannot criticize, but I can definitely compliment. Very very nice :D
Now, if you can only be a good girl and put a title, eh?
not ey, They :)
PS - I will love to read your poem, if Ma'am so permits?
Sitting in front of a big window with a fresh cuppa warm sunlight... your poem is making me feel cold! Not a nice feeling to have. Hope you feel better.
HYDE-i'll tell u what an empathetic friend told me-get over it:(
AUSTY-am wondering what u mean...
many possibilities suggest themselves.
which one do i believe?
oh be a nice gal and tell me
what you really mean!
ANON-errrrr.....it is?that cant be really possible.for it to be beyond brilliant i mean. cos i wouldnt be writing poems on a blog if it really was beyond brilliant. reality checks. and i am realistic :)
O-i first read that as happy wriTHing :-O
NEGEV- :) thank you for that. there will be...yes i KNOW there will be. but we all have our hour os misgivings.
SANITY STARVED-good girl??is that condescension i detect? and no, i aint putting no title. it takes too much effort.writing WITH effort, i do at my job. here i just get to write what i want how i want EFFORTLESSLY.if the title came without me having to make a conscious effort to think of one, i would title it....
and ur 2nd comment....am totally lost.something tells me it could be sarcasm but i am very dense when it comes to innuendos and insinuations!!:p SO!!!
FIRST RAIN-i wasnt feeling very nice when i wrote it, so i doubt anybody would feel nice reading it..but yes thank you, today is a new day. and i AM feeling better!the sun is shining, the sky is blue and the birds are doing just what birds should do. all's well with the world and all's well with me :)
Am working on it. :-)
Neat..real neat
meant it was brilliantly crafted, preceptive and expressive and i wanted to say this but not gush..
austere
HYDE-keep at it.there are many more desserts at CCD...
AUSTY-*beams*
MAVERICK-thank u and lmao@ur comment on dysfunctional families.
Nice one.. heres a warm hug for you... have a great weekend
fighting love?warding off emotional tangles.this seems passion inspired mahdeah. so tell us, who is he??;-)
K.P.
To many more desserts at CCD! *hic*
It is not enought to say that, you know. You got to be there at CCD.
PALLAVI-Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens/Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens/ Brown paper packages tied up with strings/These are a few of my favorite things.
:)
always wondered why maria never added a warm hug there.
KP-K, i've told you and told you and told you, ASSUME-ass of you and me;-)
i am not saying yea and i am not saying nay. now go figure.
HYDE-ok.i shall be there. i didnt go for the carols yesterday btw.seemed too much effort to drive halfway across the city after a full day@work.so came back n lolled around.
I WAS VERTICAL-i dont know what to say in my defense there...have i?there's a pattern to it V....
Halfway across the place? Correct me if I am wrong, isn't there a CCD not far from your place?
Surrealistic attempt!!!Good that u didn't give any title.Very thoughtful.
wud appreciate ur visit to my blog and ur comments.
MISS ME BUT LET ME GO
Me and my web home.
secret corner of dome.
shared may be a lot.
Spare but my spot.
Scared not.To run.
Shortly you dim the sun.
Parallelly yours
freakofmind
condescension, innuendos and insinuations!!
So much for paying a compliment! :((
But you write beautiful poems :)
HYDE-i was talking abt the carols.it was at YWCA and that's quite far from home.
FREAK OF MIND-surrealistic??poem??oh dear! not in the least, freak. i am not a poet. i cant think of imagery and i which word goes where. i jus write as it comes and i never go back and edit. no good poet worth her name would write a pome lathat.this is not a poem. its just words.
SANITY STARVED-awwwwwww would i ever be that horrid??no!!i am a VERY NICE person;-)
but hey! i STILL cant find my comment :(
compliment...paying them...i need training. wanna help???:)
for 'poem' look at comment to freak.
i had a good friend in blogdom who saw thru my laziness...wonder where he is...
I WAS VERTICAL-once a month. is that often enough, i wonder...
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