As I lie down to sleep, I am so aware of Your presence. When I am weak, then I am strong. Because when I am weak, I know. I know there is no one else BUT you. And when I am weak, you have the most use of me. Because Your glory is made most manifest in MY weakness.

There is glory in this alone-ness. Because You are with me. I am aware that I am not alone. Even if I don't FEEL Your presence, You are there. Cos You have said that You will NEVER leave me nor forsake me. And if You said it, I believe it.

And I am glad for the pain because it taught me to look at You. And I am glad for the pain cos it will teach me to empathise with others who suffer likewise. All my failures, all my shortcomings, You use all of it, You turn it all around for Your glory. Beauty for ashes, the oil of gladness for mourning....I always wondered what it meant. Today, I know.

All my life I've searched. All my life I prayed to an unknown God. I never went to Sunday school cos nobody took me there. I never went to church cos nobody in my house ever went there. But always, You've been with me, watching over a little girl... knowing her pain, her silent questions, her silent agony.

You knew my searching heart. And so, You always sent people who watched out for me. C in school, T in college....always, You were watching over me. Even though I didn't know You or Your name.And I wonder why You've been so good. Because I've done NOTHING to deserve this honour. Why me? Why choose me?

And now I know. Today, I know why. It's not my 'Christian' upbringing or family background that I have to be grateful for because I've had neither. It's only You. Nobody else but You deserves the glory and the praise. Where I've been weakest, there You have always been Strongest.

For Your strength is made perfect in my weakness.